Guestpost from Temiloluwa Francis-Adeshina, author and Reading & Leadership Coach, founder of READLAND, a finest mum, who was kind enough to share with us some of her parenting tips. Enjoy reading.
To all parents, I salute you!!! A big well-done to you all on this parenting journey.
I am a mother of 3 biological children (2 girls who are 9 and 4yrs, and a boy who is 7yrs), but also a mother to the numerous children I mentor and coach at Readland. Just sharing some tips, hope you find these useful.
Tip 1 - Connection to God
First of all, I would like to state that raising and training children is not a day's job. Neither is it a per time duty. We are in dangerous times and we have to protect our children. That's why first of all, the greatest keys and weapons I have raised my children with is a connection to the one who owns them, which is God. Their father and I are only caretakers. From childhood we have taught them to pray by taking turns in the morning and before bed at night. It has become a big time habit that they don't joke with.
Tip 2 - Make affirmations
Another weapon and habit we have consciously allowed to grow with them is Affirmations. Some years ago, we called it Confessions in our house. At that time, we insisted that the children repeat certain positive words while taking their bath. Well I can boldy say that now they are older, they know bathing time is affirmation time and that whoever is bathing them adds other positive words for them. Now we call them affirmations.
Tip 3 - maintain a bond with your children
One other thing that my husband and I consciously do is to ensure we create a strong bond with our children. I don't trade with my being physically available as often as possible for them. Thank God I am an author, I do most of my work in the house but most times when I have outings on weekends, they go along with me. So I try to listen to them, I usually probe them with questions of my own and give comfort when needed, especially when they come back from school and haven't had a great day. I provide them comfort when they are hurt or upset.
One of the benefits derived from being available for my children is that we have built a stronger bond of trust. One day my first daughter came out of the room with a broken decoration and she said, "Mummy, I am sorry, I broke it sometime ago but I hid it". I replied, "thank you for telling me and saying the truth, but you still need to inform your daddy even if he punishes you". Many of the children also at Readland who tear books and hide it when they return it have come to understand that they can trust me by reporting themselves. A child will be honest with you when they know they can trust you and integrity, truthfulness are values that should be naturally imbibed as they grow.
Tip 4 - Develop a positive habit e.g. reading
My children are super readers now but as a parent and reading coach, I will say I started the journey of discovery of the power in books quite late for my children. That journey of instilling the habit in them started two years ago when I remembered that as a child I had read all the books in my mum' s public school library, because it was undergoing a renovation and our home became the temporary library. It donned on me when I resigned from a 6am to 6pm job at that time that my children did not like to read. I knew I was in trouble and they were missing out of the values and fufillment one derives from reading.
So I began to give them a book per week and on Friday, I would tell the two older ones to make an oral presentation, and later do a book review. I encouraged competition between them by giving marks over 10 and stickers. Before I knew it, both of them wanted to outdo themselves in oral presentation or book review. Before I knew it again, they began to take turns to read to their younger sister. So their father began to buy more and more and more books till we started to share with other children, and that is how Readland was born. Now we have many children who have read over a hundred books and are on the next level of discovering their entrepreneurship gifts and skills.
Short break from tips for observations
Parenting can be tasking at times. I wonder why my baby who is 4 likes to compete and outdo her elder ones. She has such a bossy nature and usually takes it out on her brother or the two girls form a team and leave their brother out of their games to go find a play mate.
Tip 5 - Kids needs chores
Hmmm... So as a mother, I started devising tasks, must do chores etc for them. For example I don't use the washing machine to wash their socks, the three of them do that. My son packs the dried clothes on the line during the weekend, the girls spread it. They all fill up their bottles together for school the next day. Each of them sorts out their clothes. They all lay their beds and clean up their room. It's my 4 year old's daughter's duty to dust the table. My son can lay his bed perfectly like a pro. He has a perfectionist nature so his approach to things makes him quite finicky about certain things like his bed. His handwriting is super Nelson.
Tip 6 - Limit TV
I don't allow too much TV and I am not a fan of TV, but a child that wants to watch must show me the book, no matter how tiny he/she has read for the day. I am very firm about that rule.
Tip 7 - Inspire and develop their creativity
My elder daughter is very creative, from playing the piano to drawing, painting, making her own purses with ankara. To inspire the creativity in children we allow them to use A4 paper to make all the different objects with their Art& Craft books. They usually soil their clothes with water colours. When I scream that they are wasting paper, my husband simply says, "Let them be, I will buy more when they finish it".
Thank you all parents on this group once again for reading my epistle.
Thank you Uju for all you do at Africanfinestmums. I am a strong believer that African women can do ANYTHING they set their hearts on. This blog is surely a place to gather some friendly and helpful tips. Deola Sagoe said The West has taken and borrowed a lot from Africa... now its renaissance: we are claiming back what is ours and we're adding value to what is ours. I am proud to be an African finest mum.
God bless you ALL.
More about the Contributor
Temiloluwa is making great strides with her passion for reading, and getting children to fall in love with reading. To find out more about READLAND, her books, and other initiatives you can follow her Facebook page at Temiloluwa Francis Adeshina , and on Instragram @readlandng. Also watch out for Readland Book Cure Therapy Sessions.
Thank you Temiloluwa for sharing your tips with us.
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