An ode to the real me: I choose me

I choose me

I choose me.

When it’s 2am and I’m still trying to put the finishing touches on my daughter’s cake.

It’s not a masterpiece by any means, but it’s what she wanted and although I’m knackered,

The joy of seeing her marvel over and enjoy the cake “Mummy made just for me”,

Was worth every hour I stayed up past my “bedtime”.

I choose me.

When I’m tired after a long day at work, and I just about made it to the couch.

Then realise I don’t really feel like bustling around the kitchen to make dinner.

So I declare, “Kids you’ll have to eat sandwiches and fruit for dinner!”

Because mummy’s body need refreshing and rest too, just like everyone else’s.

I choose me.

When I choose to ignore her pettiness, snide or unfair remarks,

Because I know I’m bigger and better than stooping to her level.

I’m going to wish her well, pray for her, and let it go.

Loving her doesn’t have to be up close, it can be from afar.

I choose me.

When I decide to get up out of bed on a cold Saturday morning.

To go for a walk, jog or gym work out, even when I feel like sleeping.

Not because “so and so” friend or celebrity has lost weight and is looking so good,

But because I promised myself I need to make better health choices this year.

I choose me.

When I leave the more secure, higher paying job in the city.

Because although the prospects are great their flexibility sucks.

And staying on means I would be burning the candle at both ends,

Just to try and make things work, and barely have time for my kids.

I choose me.

When after years of going through the motions,

I remember my voice and muster strength to say, “enough is enough”.

“I don’t like how you treat me, and I won’t stand for it any longer”.

Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, there is the line, and I’m drawing it.

I choose me.

When as scary as it seems I decide to follow my dream.

To open up my own business doing something I’m passionate about.

The hours are long, the graft is rough, the path like a rollercoaster.

Yet the inexplicable joy I get as I start to live that dream, is one I can’t deny.

I choose me.

When my body isn’t cooperating as I want it to,

The pain lingers, and the diagnosis seems scary

But I’m going to put on my lipstick, and my smile.

I know I can beat this, and I don’t want my kids to see me cry.

I choose me.

When I look at my situation as an individual, woman, wife, mum, daughter, sister,

And assess it to figure out if my intended action helps others but hurts me,

By it working against the core of my being, emotionally, physically, spiritually,

And I then decide that ultimately, I matter more.

I choose me.

Not because I am selfish, but because I am selfless.

And after years of sacrifice, breakdowns and accepting crap from others.

I’ve realized that I serve others better when I have done the “selfish” thing

Of taking care of, and loving on me first.

I choose me.

When I stop letting others perceptions, opinions, expectations and demands,

Define and dictate my thoughts, actions and perceptions of myself.

Instead, I go back to my source, my creator’s blueprint for my life,

And let that guide the choices I make regarding my life.

I choose me.

By choosing to set myself free, and yes it is freedom.

From trying to please or fulfill everyone, and anyone other than my creator.

He who knows what I was designed and created for in the first place,

He who knows I am a masterpiece, if I just let Him show and guide me.

An ode to me, to us…

Written in honour of every woman struggling to find herself, her voice or her purpose. Can you see yourself in any of the scenarios? These are only a few snapshots of the varied millions faced by every day women every day. Some so unique, specific, and isolated, others echoed by so many that it’s amazingly comforting how united we are in our experiences of it. Be challenged today, to stop, pause, take time out, make the decision to choose you. If you believe in God, I’m referring to the real you, which is the you in Him, Him who is the master creator, the one who made you fearfully and wonderfully (Isaiah 64:8, Psalm 139:13-14). The decisions aren’t always clear cut, and the outcome might well mean sacrificing for others, but deep down you will know if you have chosen you if you let Him guide you, help you figure out who you really are, and what He created you for.

Women, mamas all around the world are dying in silence, fading away, losing themselves, and not fulfilling the blueprint they were created for. We fight a society, cultures and traditions that seemingly advocates us choosing ourselves last in order of priority. It’s such a shame, because families, marriages, companies, communities, are suffering as a result. Help us choose ourselves first so we can serve all of us better. I make a commitment to choose me today, and for every day going forward. Will you?