New trends
Good or bad, I've noticed that Africans like to copy or adopt certain aspects of Western culture that we find interesting or in trend. (My view, but please feel free to tell me if you don't agree). Well I've found one that I think is worthy of adopting fully - the push gift.
Let me quickly cite some examples of copied trends - Valentine's Day. Growing up back in Nigeria I knew of the day, and the sentiment behind it, ie boy likes girl, boy buys gifts for girl to toast* her. However it was not the big deal it's made out to be these days where the preparation for it by the wooers, wooees and the shops selling Valentine fare is almost as commercial as Christmas.
Take another one - Haloween. I never thought I would see the day African parents home and abroad would be buying outfits specifically to go and "trick or treat". Back in the day witches and wizards were things we grew up fearing and had nightmares about, but now we're dressing up like them! Hmm ok o!
What is a Push gift?
So this newish trend I quite like. Push gift. You've heard of it right? A new mum gets a gift from her husband/partner when she gives birth (pushes the baby out of her womb). It's popularity grew in the US and from some of the reality shows I've watched it can be quite the gift. New mums have gotten beautiful jewellery (some diamonds) and a brand new car. Now that's appreciation right there!
I'm not sure how many of our men are the romantic kind who lavish the mother of their children with gifts at the drop of a hat. So if you're currently expecting and would like a push gift but don't know how to go about it, I'm here to help with 3 tips .
Step 1. Draw it out for him
He might not have heard of this concept so a clear diagram might help. Men are visionary beings right? So a picture like the one below might help your case without using so many words. Please feel free to use, and you can thank me later.
Step 2. Spell it out for him.
If the vision aid did not work, then step 2 is to use your voice. "Honey, " Sweetie, "Darling, "Boo boo", "Bae", and all that good stuff. Pile it on and pile it on thick and fast, reminding him that every good turn deserves another. Even the bible says every worker is deserving of their wages (1 Timothy 5:18). I mean if going into labour (the name says it all) is not work, I don't know what is. Then in this scenario the push gift is your wage.
Step 3. Trick him.
I know that sounds underhand but I don't mean the malicious kind of trickery. No, this is good old wholesome trickery that causes no direct harm. One example is he gives you money for household upkeep, or to purchase specific items or necessities for the kids or family member, or to treat yourself to something nice. You then inflate the request by up to 20%, which should inflate the money given too. Be disciplined and stash that money away over a period of time then you'll have enough to contribute to or buy outright something you really like and have had your eye on. Even if you made the purchase yourself, the money came from him, so hey presto you've got yourself a push gift.
Easy peasy right?
If you've successfully been able to wrangle yourself a push gift please tell us how you did it. Let's help spread this until it becomes an established, copied trend.
Quick explanation
*toast - Just in case you didn't know, on this occasion we're not referring to slice of bread that you spread butter on, this means to woo her, let her know he's sweet on her, fancies her and would like to go out with her.
Great 3 steps, i might just have a baby to test if they are effective. Unfortunately the concept isn’t new but ofcourse we cannot compare to the Beyoncès’, Kims’and Seranas’of the world. Like everything else in this world that is now over commercialised, the sentiment of gratitude for a woman undergoing the most traumatic experience to bring new life is lost.
Thanks for your comment. True we can’t all be Beyonce, Kim or Serena, and I’m not a fan of over commercialisation, but is “Yay you have a new baby” enough? Should there be something more specifically from the new dad to the new mum for her efforts? I’m just thinking out loud and testing perceptions in general on this.
Hi,
This is not entirely western.
In some African cultures, the man’s family buys a gift for the wife when a baby is born.
They have just re branded it & made it more popular.
Hi and thanks for your comment. That’s interesting re: some African cultures. I’ve heard that but wasn’t sure. Do you mind sharing which ones do that?