Year end stock take
We made it beautiful finest mamas, we made it to the end of 2018. Congratulations lovelies. I’m always surprised by how deep and reflective we get at this time of the year, but it makes sense. Like every birthday, new birth, every new big purchase, every new job, every new milestone, the sense of having new opportunities and a fresh slate can be so exhilarating and foreboding all at once. So well done to you all as you complete your countdown for the year, and I hope as you do your stock take you find that you have more to be thankful for and celebrate than you do to be sad and upset about. 2018 has been the year I’ve been learning to change the game.
How was your report card?
Up till date I used to get so hard on myself and mark myself poorly by focusing solely on everything I’d wanted to achieve but hadn’t. I’d mentally tell myself off and brood over how weak, stupid, or not as good as others I had been. Safe to say for the past few years, I’d start off the new year from a place of pain, and a report card somewhere below 20%. Whilst telling oneself harsh truths is beneficial, there is a time, place, and there should be a purpose and plan. Also to do so without acknowledging the pluses is a disservice. Especially when one has overcome things that would normally have broken others.
I speak in general terms, but if you are one who has jumped through the fire in 2018 and came through in ways even you still can’t believe you did, then please don’t forget to celebrate and give yourself a pat on the back. For whatever spectrum you found yourself (higher lows, or higher highs), I hope you have enough strength, courage and resolve to look forward to even better in 2019, because you’re worth it, and deserve it.
My report card
I had my share of low lows in 2018 and almost felt like I had lost myself. I felt I had failed as a mother who just couldn’t get the balance right to help my children be best at everything. Failed as a wife who couldn’t figure out how best to communicate with my husband. And finally I felt I failed as an individual who was giving so much to so many, and inevitably wearing myself out in the process. When I almost broke down under stress, I learnt in the knick of time my biggest lesson for the year. It was that I had to choose to redefine myself through my Maker’s eyes first, not those of others, and ultimately choose me first. The change starts with me, and I can’t wait for others to do what I should do – believe in myself.
This is what I do these days. I now take out time to celebrate the good more, by acknowledging them (even the small things), and indulging in the things that I enjoy. Then for the bad I’ve made a list of areas in my life and character I consider weaknesses. I then pray and work through what I could do to make them better. By work through I mean consciously apply on a daily basis new tactics to change my action and reactions to those areas identified. Of course some days I fail miserably, and on some days the wins are small. But I keep pushing on, and get back up on the failed miserable days until gradually the wins become habits. Sounds quite simple and basic, but I’ve found it helpful, and sometimes simple and basic does the trick.
So overall my self awarded grade in 2018 was 65%. I realised some of my failures weren’t as bad as I’d envisioned. Also a few tweaks here and there on myself did a lot of good in changing my situations.
New Year resolutions
Are you drawing up a list for 2019? What’s on your list? Is it lose some weight, eat more vegetables or do more exercise at the gym? I’ve tried that, and come end of January all of those would be out the window. Then I’d be back to my usual bad habits. Anyone else experience that? If you’ve successfully kept to your new year resolutions, please tell me how. In the meantime I’m going to keep it simple and focus on working towards being a better version of myself than the year before. It’s also an easier resolution to remember.
I changed the game
So as we rush towards 2019, my 2018 summary will be my mantra for 2019. I’m celebrating that against many odds I finished my first book, Uncle Gugi’s Wedding and you can bet there were moments where all I could do was crawl. But I couldn’t shake off the sight of the finish line, and kept pushing. (Don’t forget to download a copy if you haven’t already). I’m going to keep doing the same (running towards the finish line). And like the caterpillar, envision the beautiful butterfly that’s waiting to emerge once I cross that finish line. What will your mantra be?
God bless you plenty in 2019. May your 2019 be filled with many emerging butterfly moments where you change the game. We’re rooting for you all the way. You can do it, we all can.
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